I have got a horde of food-hungry hogs for friends. Just interject the two lesser used ‘F’ words (no, you dirty minded dweeb, it’s not the word you’re thinking! 😛) “free” and “food” into the same sentence, and see their jaws drop 4 feet down under so much that you could accommodate one or two apes inside the cave like opening puddled with their precipitating spittle. They would jump and hoot with glee just at the prognosis of getting a treat out of their scapegoat in their cruddy yet well designed scheme of things. These guys revel in making any infinitesimally far-fetched subject as a cause for a hearty treat to the whole wasted gang. If they notice something new about you, congratulations! you’re in for throwing a party, like a patch on your old torn pair of denims (Lord knows what’d happen if you buy a new one, then you’d have to serve them ice-cream too after meals maybe!), a brand new ball point pen worth Rs 10? that’s a wonderful cause for a dairy milk celebration; don’t you think? (even if that dairy milk costs more than the pen), that beautiful girl in the college looked in your direction and smiled? that’s a call for patties and cold drinks for everyone (even if the girl had actually smiled at the dumb brawny guy sitting behind you). Well, we all have those friends and we love them because we’re a part of the same fraternity. 🙂
One such sunny day, or might I say doomsday, I got emotionally pitched at having bore with their jibes about it’s been quite a long time since I called them to my house for luncheon cooked by my beloved expert mother. Fed up already, I foolishly remarked, “Alright, alright. That’s enough, you guys are getting on my nerves now, today 2 o’clock my house, everybody, okay? After this, shut your traps for a good long until each of you have entertained a similar treat and the circle is drawn back at the end to me!” Well that was it, the victory, followed by the crazy uproar involving jaw dropping, saliva secretion and hooting with evil grins and the shimmer in their vile eyes. I knew I was the goat for slaughter this time, but I felt kind of happy in a way, thinking that we’re gonna have a hell of a time later that day. The difficult part was to convince mom to cook some brilliant dishes in good quantities and help her by getting the requisite grocery items from the market. That done, the new movie ‘Terminator Salvation’ dvd arranged, ready to be watched; and the dining room set and cleaned, everything was ready. After cooking a stack of aromatic food mom went out for some work, not to return till dusk. Now we had the house to ourselves too, the party is gonna rave, I thought. 😛 Soon the horde arrived and one of my friend had brought along his elder brother too, whom I scarcely knew (we just went to same guitar classes) to be called friends, well that was alright, an extra person could be adjusted with some difficulty in that amount of food. Actually I had to bunk my guitar class that afternoon for this treat at my home. So, practically the elder sibling had bunked it too just to come to this treat? Well, like junior brother like senior too! 😛 So after everyone were seated and after expressing mirth at a few good old jokes I began to serve the food to everyone. Hyderabadi biryani, dal tadka, raita, aloo dum, kadai veg, poori and gulabjamun was the menu for the day (Slurrrp! mom cooks incredibly well 😀 ). As soon as the food was served, they all swooped on it like they had been hungry since ages, and the food resources was getting fast depleted. I was just beginning to wonder if enough would be left for me to eat, at that moment, guess what? the elder brother’s friends were going to the guitar class and he called them up to pick him up or something, from my house. They reached my house in minutes short; and the elder guy asks me if he could invite his friends too for the food, inside the house? I was flabbergasted at the manners of the guy. Sheepishly, I nodded my head and there came 2 more gatecrashers whom I didn’t even knew at all. So evidently, the food was not enough to sate the extra pigs (Argghhh! >_<) hunger and due to them the rest of my gang had to adjust in limited food, they were as dumbstruck with my friend’s brother and his friends as I was.
The food got over completely and I hadn’t even tasted a single bite of any dish, and I had to keep my icon of being a good host, so I tried ordering food from outside while everyone else were engaged in Christian Bale’s action scenes in the movie. To my horror, none of the restaurants at that time were accepting my order since it was already well past lunchtime and there weren’t many good restaurants nearby who deliver good food in time. So, I had to do away with the nearest restaurant’s food which doesn’t tastes good, gets delivered late and isn’t a value for the money but still it was served to surfeit everyone’s paunch. I wished we had TinyOwl (Food ordering app) available then, which would have helped me find out the best restaurants with prompt delivery time in my area, it’d have definitely saved me from the embarrassment and the party from being a debacle.
^Song of the day: “Us against the world” by the tranquil Coldplay.
^Until next time, rage and chaos! 😉